I recommend starting with this Do You Love Yourself Unconditionally Quiz
Do you ever look in the mirror and feel awkward and uncomfortable?
Do you care about what people think of you?
Do you feel unworthy and lacking in confidence?
If the answer's yes, then it probably stems from the fact that you just don't love who you are (yet).
I'm not talking about the "look at me" kind of self love (that's gross).
I'm talking about real self love...
Zero judgement. Full self compassion. Pure acceptance.
The benefits of self love are enormous and far reaching, impacting all areas of life (as you're about to find out).
So, if you've been beating yourself up, judging yourself, feeling shame and self doubt, take the next few minutes to read this article to really understand the true benefits of self love, and start the process of implementing it into your life.
What is self love?
Self love is defined as the "love of one's self" or "regard for one's own happiness".
Self love is a feeling of deep compassion, unconditional love and complete acceptance of yourself.
It's feeling of wholeness, completeness, and abundance.
Self love is unique to the individual. It's not something you do, but rather how you feel. It's a feeling of deep compassion, unconditional love and complete acceptance of yourself.
Self love as a concept has been around for centuries; from the times of Plato, and it's fast becoming popularised amongst the self help communities of today.
What are the benefits of self love?
The benefits of self love are far reaching and all encompasing, with it's effects impacting all areas of your life.
From relationships to health, to our quest to understand the meaning of life, self love is our greatest teacher and our loyal friend.
Self love is the ultimate healer of the mind, body and spirit. It's the ultimate reason for being.
As Gandhi once said;
“Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.”
- Mahatma Gandi
The benefits of self love are endless...
However, here's 11 to get you started!
11 little known benefits of self love
1. Better Health
Let's face it.
When you're not well, life is shit. Your world is myopic, you struggle to feel any kind of happiness and your a little depressed.
Most of us take our health for granted; until we no longer have it.
The good news?
Self love can improve your health. In fact, it becomes a priority.
After all - health is wealth.
How self love benefits your health:
When you’re in a state of self love, your body and metabolism experience some profound changes. Studies have shown that people who practice self love and gratitude, have lower blood pressure, experience less stress, and have more energy.
By practising self love techniques for as little as 2 minutes a day, you will feel the benefits to your overall health and wellbeing.
Self Care Tip #1 - BODY SCAN
As you wake up each morning, take 2 minutes (before you do anything else) scan your entire body and give thanks to each organ and each part of your body for the work it does for you every day.
Start at the top of your head and scan all the way down to the tips of your toes.
2. Interdependent Relationships
Like it or not, most relationships are build on co-dependent behaviours.
Just look at all the relationships in your life and you'll see what I mean. Nearly every relationship is built on this foundation.
Relationships help to fill the voids which exist within ourselves. We have a tendency to focus on romantic love rather unconditional love.
If you are willing to grow then you tend to shy away from co-dependant relationships in favour of interdependent relationships.
These relationships add value, inspire us and help serve us in a positive and fulfilling way.
Self love teaches us to respect ourselves first, and when we do, we attract respectful relationships based on trust, unconditional love and happiness into our lives.
How self love benefits our relationships
Self love teaches us our worth. The importance of loving ourselves first, and to take responsibility for our own shit.
When we do, we enter relationships from a place of wholeness and abundance, rather from a place of lack and scarcity.
The best relationships are synergistic, where the sum of two parts is greater than the whole.
Loving ourselves first, allows us to be more loving to others.
Interdependent relationships values are based onrespect, emotional autonomy, a safe place to feel vulnerable and shine your authenticity.
Making for the best kind of relationships.
Self Care Tip #2 - COMMUNICATION
Studies prove, communication is the biggest cause of relationship breakdowns.
Here's are four suggestion by the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh to help with better communication between you and your partner.
1. Darling, I am here for you
2. Darling, I know you are there
3. Darling, I know you suffer..this is why I am here for you
4. Darling, I suffer I am trying my best to practise, please help me
3. Next Level Confidence
Is there anything more powerful than confidence?
Knowing who you are, believing in your abilities and happily taking risks.
If you had this self belief, couldn't you achieve success in all areas of your life?
I'm pretty damm sure of it.
Confidence is a force. An incredible power. It's also contagious.
The greater the confidence the better you feel about yourself.
How self love improves our confidence?
Self loves teaches you to love all aspects of yourself.
But, the truth is we don't.
Fortunately, through self love, you develop an unshakable belief that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
You don’t need validation from anyone. You feel the courage to follow your own dreams and you know you are living each day in alignment with who you truly are.
Self love cultivates a strong sense of self.
Confidence is king.
Develop it. Be it. Live it.
Self Care Tip #3 - EYE CONTACT
When speaking to someone, look them in the eyes.
Retain eye contact when they are speaking to you too.
Hot Fact: Eye contact is crucial for coming across as confident; it enables you to make better connections, appear trustworthy and seem decisive.
4. More Style & Swag
When was the last time you stepped out in-style and owned it?
No, I'm not talking about wearing a fedora hat and feeling like a kook.
I'm talking about Gypset style, you know the kind of je ne sais quoi...
People want to copy you, people want to be you. But, they just can't.
No, your different. You're unique and you know it.
Flaunt it baby!
How self love benefits your style and swag?
The benefits of self love is you feel completely ok, being you. You are able to express yourself fully, without limitations.
You live passionately with an open heart and allow nothing to hold you back.
You develop this distinct style, which is uniquely yours and this is so damn attractive.
You soon realise authenticity is the new cool.
Feeling good within yourself gives you a distinct style and swag like no other.
It’s obvious and it’s contagious. You really do love who you are.
The more you flaunt it, the more you declare to the Universe; "I am who I am and I fucking loove it".
Own it sister!
Self Care Tip #4 - BODY LANGUAGE
Next time you step outside your front door, I want you to emulate these 8 steps.
1. Keep your chin and head up.
2. Stand up straight.
3. Plant your feet in an open, wide stance.
4. Gesture with your palms up.
5. Keep your hands out of your pockets and always visible.
6. Eye contact is essential.
7. Cut out 'um' and 'like.'
8. Be interested, not interesting.
5. Boundaries With Friends & Family
Creating healthy boundaries is essential to protecting your energy. This is especially true, if you don't want to feel drained and depleted by negative energies.
Energy Shielding is a technique that can help with is.
Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No."
Firm boundaries are necessary even for our loved ones.
How self loves benefits our boundaries with others?
The benefits of self love is you put yourself first before others. You value your time and you value yourself.
And, you understand saying No, is a key component to your long term happiness.
Meaningful relationships helps us to thrive on this planet. But, if there not managed properly they can easily be toxic and destructive to our wellbeing.
Self love promotes healthy boundaries so we can have harmonious relationships with the people we care most about; including the relationship we have with ourselves.
Self Care Tip #5 - BOUNDARIES
Say NO as much as you need too.
No matter who it is or what it is, you must honor your own energy first before helping or serving others.
6. Longterm Happiness
We all want to be happy? It goes without saying... But, why is happiness so elusive?
It might have to do with the way we perceive happiness...
Happiness is not a pursuit, but rather a feeling you have from within.
You can neither buy it or get it. No, it's actually much simpler, happiness is merely a choice.
And, a choice which you can make right here and now. So, choose what makes you happy.
I told you, it was that simple...
How self love benefits our happiness
Self loves teaches us to acknowledge happiness is rooted from the inside.
The more we work on ourselves the happier we become as a result.
Self love develops more self compassion, you radiate happiness and you become more loving.
Think of it like this;
When you truly love someone, you really want them to be happy.
When you truly love yourself, you really want yourself to be happy.
The way you perceive your life, changes the way you feel about it.
Self love enables you to look for the magic in all life lessons and to be grateful for each and every day.
With this attitude to life, you will naturally attract positive experiences and longterm happiness will be sustained.
Follow your curiosity and happiness will follow you.
Self Care Tip #6 - DETERMINE YOUR VALUES
When a person knows themselves and decides what they really want in life, what's really important to them and they fill there day with what's really important to them, there lives grow, there self worth grow, there happiness grows , so many benefits start to emerge.
Take the values determination test here
7. Extra Drive & Motivation
Achievable goals require a combination of drive and motivation. No matter how big or small they may be.
After all, success is down to how much you want something, isn't it?
Drive and motivation combined gives brith to unshakable self belief.
You have the capacity to push through setbacks, rejections, and fears in your quest to be the best version of yourself.
Anything you set your mind too is achievable.
How self love benefits our drive & motivation
Self love increases your confidence to think big and be bold. To believe in yourself and to not settle for anything less.
You have the drive and motivation to transform your life from ordinary to extraordinary.
It helps to develop more power, strength and resilience. Therefore, igniting the flame to go after what is you want.
It gives you greater self belief, you can accomplish any goal in which you set for yourself.
Maintaining high levels of drive and motivation pushes the inner critic and self doubt away, so you can remain focused on your success.
Self Care Tip #7 - BITE SIZED GOALS
We all want the elevator effect...
Which means we want to go from where we now, straight to the top.
What we need to do instead is break down our bigger goals into bite sized chunks.
Hot Fact: Writing down our goals each day has proven to be more effective than the act of verbalising them.
8. Less Fucks Given
Not many people are born leaders. Most of us care to much about what others think of us for that to happen.
Instead, preferring to follow. Similar to a pack of sheep.
Fitting in and living a very linear life. Like everybody else.
Plodding along in life...living in accordance with everybody else's values and what society deems as successful.
What a shame. Not to mention how fucking boring!
On the other hand, you could give less fucks and live life according to your rules.
Being the cause and not the effect of life.
Not giving two shits about what people think but more concerned for your own wellbeing.
Sound like you?
How self love benefits are attitude to life
Not caring about other people opinions is one of life most difficult endeavours.
On a biological level, way back when we were hunters and gathers, if we didn't fit in, we would have been left and abandoned by our tribe.
This abandonment felt worse than dying.
Luckily, nowadays, self love make us feel complete and whole as we are. We no longer seek validation from others.
This allows us the freedom to explore yourself fully and unconditionally.
Feeling confident to step out into the world without worrying what others may think about you.
How insanely liberating?
Coming from this place of abundance and high vibe is a place you're not willing to give up for anybody.
The more self love you have, the less fucks given.
Self Care Tip #8 - CHOOSE YOURSELF
Spend a week hanging out with yourself.
If people reach out to you, awesome say yes.
But, try not to reach out to them.
Spend sometime getting to know yourself.
9. Easier Failures
If we live in a win win universe then failure is actually down to one's perception.
What if I told you failure is a guidance system from the Universe letting you know , your not on the right path.
A nudge in the right direction so to speak.
Our failures carry some of life's most important lessons. They help to serve us in a positive and impactful way.
Yet, our failures are always viewed so negatively.
What if we could change the way we perceived our failures? Would that also change the way we felt about them too?
I think so...
You would learn to embrace them and not fear them. Maybe, even love them.
How self love benefits us with our failures?
When you understand there is no such thing as failure in life, you instantly become more creatively fulfilled.
And, no I'm not only talking about 'artist's' here. I'm talking about everybody. Because, we are all creative by nature.
You no longer feel stifled. You can let go of expectations.
This gives us the freedom to fully express yourselves and not hold back in the pursuit of what is you want.
Self love teaches us, the more you fail, the closer you are to your 'true north'.
You are able to rebound quicker, pick your self up when your in a slump and you know with certainty your never give up attitude is what carries you across the finish line.
It's your duty to follow your purpose and self love gives you the inspiration to do so.
Fail fast and hard, then move on.
Self Care Tip #9 - FRAME SHIFTING
Draw two columns.
In one of the columns write down all of your failures.
Next to each of your failures write in the next column how each failure has served you in a positive way.
In NLP this is called frame shifting.
This is a powerful, yet simple technique to change your perception of an event or events that you felt didn't serve you in some kind of positive way.
Using frame shifting helps you to understand that all experiences (good or bad) are here to serve you for the best.
10. Less insecurities
According to Britain's top therapist, Marissa Peer, the root cause of nearly all our problems is; we don’t feel worthy enough.
Our insecurities plague us our whole life. They continue to pop up, unless of course, we address them.
Working on yourself, spending down alone and growing is a sure fired way to feeling less insecure.
Don't get me started on social media. There is nothing more harmful to your insecurities than, comparing yourself to others.
Life isn’t a competition, we are unique in our own special way and each and everyone of us bring's value to the table.
Just knowing this, improves our self worth.
How does self love benefit our insecurities?
Self love teaches us to love every aspect of ourselves. To stand strong in our authenticity, our individuality and fully own it.
It helps us to love all the parts of ourself that we neglect especially what the Swiss Psychologist Carl Jung termed ‘The Shadow Self’
This is the part of ourselves we want to run and hide from.
The ‘shadow’ is the side of your personality that contains all the parts of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having. - Harley Therapy
Addressing this part of ourselves allows us to fully become whole within. We are complete. We are whole. We are enough.
You don’t need to prove to others or feel jealous of others.
Self love makes you feel complete with who you are.
Your insecurities vanish and you become a beacon of light for others to follow.
Self Care Tip #10 - AFFIRMATION
Write these three words down on post it notes.
"I AM ENOUGH"
Place these post it notes all over your house, in every bedroom on every mirror and recite the affirmation out loud every time you see it.
Try this for a minimum of 7 days.
11. Unlimited Freedom
But, most of all, self love gives you the freedom to be who you came to be.
Unlimited. Powerful. Loving.
Spending time alone feels joyful. There is no need feel lonely and dependant on others.
You are whole and complete. This freedom gives you wings to fly.
Owning your greatness, being your true authenticity and allowing yourself permission to live the life you dreamed off, this is what freedom is, this is what living is.
“The basis of life is freedom, the purpose of life is joy”
How does self love benefit our freedom?
The more you love who you are, the more freedom you have.
The freedom to show up everyday as you are.
You are released from your own conditions and this sets you free.
Self love allows you to experience NO limitations and this is to experience the perfection of your own being.
You are perfect just as you are.
Self love teaches you to love yourself unconditionally.
This impacts your life in a profound way.
The more free you are , the more you are at the cause and not the effect of your life.
The master of your destiny.
The more we love ourselves, the more we can explore our infinite possibilities.
Living life with less conditions and expectations and allowing yourself to blossom into your uniqueness and your individuality.
Moving away from codependent behavioural patterns and into interdependent behaviour.
Letting go of the constraints and conditioning society places upon us, instead preferring to live with an open heart and letting love be the centre of your universe.
Love is the answer. Freedom is the journey.
Self Care Tip #11 - LETTING GO
Practice the exercise of Letting Go to anything that no longer serves you.
This includes emotions, friends, self limited beliefs, social conditioning ect
1. Bring the feeling/ emotion to mind
2. Allow yourself to feel this feeling/ emotion
3. Ask yourself, could you let it go? Yes or No?
4. Would you let it go? Yes or No?
5. When would you let it go?
6. Repeat, repeat and repeat
To be whole and complete within yourself is the ultimate journey and evolution of your soul.
To not give two fucks about anyone else's opinions, to live your life on your terms and to live passionately and not hold yourself back.
This is what living is. This is what truly owning your life is.
Self love has the capacity to transform our relationships , to give deeper meaning and purpose to our lives and to allow ourselves to be our true authentic self.
The benefits of self love are infinite. Who you can become and what you can achieve is immeasurable.
Do not underestimate its power.
Self love is a practice and one which we all need to be protizing in your day, everyday.
Make a habit of daily self love rituals and practices and see the changes show up in your life.
Let me know in the comments below additional benefits you’ve received from loving yourself from the inside out.