Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things you could ever do.
But does it have to be this way?
Moving on and letting go doesn't have to be this Hollywood moment with you kneeling in the rain, tears streaming down your face with your world about to implode.
What if there was a way to let go of that special person in a loving, harmonious way?
What if there was a way for you both to move on with each other's blessings, grateful for the memories and lessons learned?
Well, there is!
In this post, you'll learn how to let go of someone you love, in a way that's just... kind of... Rad.
For everyone involved!
1. Embrace The Darkness
Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things you'll go through in your life.
It'll bring to the surface some of your darkest emotions, confronting you with your inner demons.
In these turbulent times, you'll be forced to expand and evolve, surrender and grow.
Spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
“ In the darkness, the eyes see”
How true is that!
But what exactly does it mean?
It's in the depths of despair when you're feeling really low, your soul awakens. Aligning you on your path to your True North.
Living authentically from your heart space.
Trouble is, we make most of our decisions from our head and not our heart, eventually leading us down the wrong paths.
These times of darkness are littered with life lessons we must learn. Lessons that'll teach you to stop, think and make smarter decisions for the future.
You'll surely be experiencing a sense of grief and loss (this is totally normal).
So be gentle with yourself. Eat well, rest well and surround yourself with loving friends.
Letting go of someone you love can be a very long and painful process. That's absolutely natural.
But, contrary to every Disney movie ever made, not all breaks up have to be bitter, hate-filled events.
Take a moment to think about that for a second...
How many people do you know have run off into the sunset and lived happily ever after?
Chances are, not a single one!
2. Love Them More!!!!!!
This isn't going to be easy in the beginning and that's totally fine. There's a lot of raw emotion floating around.
But as time goes by and the dust settles it's now time to let them go by loving them more. It's not going to feel natural, to begin with, and you might need some time and space to digest it and begin this process, but it's important to start.
If jealous thoughts pop into your head when you hear of your ex-developing feelings for someone else, stay present, take a deep breath and send them all the love you have.
Repeat statement like:
“I am sending you so much love on your journey, that I am”
“I am sending you love and wishing you the best, that I am”
“It’s going to be ok, I love you, everything is going to work out just fine”
Say it out loud and bathe in the strange sensations you're experiencing.
Rinse & repeat.
As you practice this technique you'll dissolve your attachments to your ex-partner, and send them on their journey will all of your blessings.
3. Better Emotion Responses
In his book, The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson he speaks about the accountability of your actions and how you respond is your choice.
When your experiencing feeling of sadness, bitterness, or resentfulness remind yourself you are making a choice.
So often we project our problems onto other people and never fully accept the responsibility for them ourselves.
Here's a great example...
Have you ever had a flat tyre?
Do you respond with...
Stupid fu**ing car (kick the car) stupid bloody tyre. Blame _?_ for not checking the tyres.
I completely accept full responsibility for the situation I'm currently in. I will trust the flat tyre will be fixed as soon as possible and I thank you car for keeping me safe on all of my car journeys.
Most will answer A.
Why is this?
Because it’s difficult to admit your flaws, the ego doesn't’ like it.
In fact, the ego does a very good job at looking outside of itself for validation.
It's easier to reaffirm you're right than to look within for the truth.
Remember you can't control someone breaking up with you, but you can control how you deal with it.
- For one week write in your journal exactly how you emotionally responded to situations in your week
For example: Maybe you stubbed your toe. How did you respond?
- The second week write in your journal new emotional responses that you used to respond.
Did you see any improvements? Do you feel better?
4. Let Go
Letting go of someone you love will take action and time.
- No social media stalking
- Avoid conversations with mutual friends
- Get really busy with point no.3
- Talk to yourself.
- Daily affirmations: “I’m letting you go__that I am" “__ it’s time to move on, and let __ go” "Letting go of __will create the space I need"
Statements help declare to the universe what you think to be true in the present moment.
How to let go of someone you love?
You will need time.
Time is always a healer.
Never wish your time away but just know with time things will get better.
Time allows us the space to process past events in our lives.
5. Work On Your Purpose
If you don’t have a purpose this is the time to find it!
If you already know or halfway there this is a great time to dive in deep.
Aligning with your purpose will set your soul on fire and birth new meaning to your life.
This is a great time to focus on you and your path as each of us has a unique and special gift to offer.
When you discover your propose and work daily towards your goals you will be pleasantly surprised with how nurturing it feels.
You will feel a new sense of confidence and direction that you have never had before.
If you already are on mission then set some really good goals, raise the stakes and go after them.
Reframing situations and events in your life can change your perception around them.
This is an opportunity to unabashedly be yourself without giving a fu** what anybody thinks including your ex.
A time to consume yourself with your life's purpose. A valuable time to be selfish and to enjoy every minute.
If you already know your purpose
- Write down what you want to achieve over the next 6 months
- Write down a system that will help support your goals ie:
- Each day write down a goal you wish to achieve - make sure this is aligned with your system and overall 6-month plan.
- I am affirmations every day
- Visualize each day you accomplishing your 6-month plan
If you're trying to find your purpose
- Go to nature as much as you can and talk to yourself (if you can't visit nature) then sit quietly without any distractions. This could be lying on your bed staring at the ceiling.
- Write down what you have to do. What set your soul on fire? This could be I have to read or I have to play music or I have to go to nature etc
- What do you find easy? Sport, writing, communicating, organization etc
- How do people identify you? An entrepreneur, an athlete, a mom etc
- How do you identify yourself?
- Review your habits. Write down your weekly habits. What is this telling you about your values?
- Write down your dream life. What does it look like?
- Give everything a go.
- When you read or are told a story that gives you goosebumps and pulls your heartstrings - this is a sign. Write these moments down.
You don’t create your purpose, you uncover it
6. Forest Bathing
Forest bathing is a term dubbed by the Japanese in 1980 that simply means “taking in the forest atmosphere”.
- Boosted immune system functioning, with an increase in the count of the body's Natural Killer (NK) cells
- Reduced blood pressure
- Reduced stress
- Improved mood
- Increased ability to focus, even in children with ADHD
- Accelerated recovery from surgery or illness
- Increased energy level
- Improved sleep
How to let go of someone you love?
You spend as much time as possible in nature.
Because nature is a natural healer.
If you have young children take them with you, kids love being in nature.
Why not go one step further and give the trees a hug, take off your shoes and dance in the rain.
Getting out of the house in the fresh open air is going to really help change you're perceptive on your current situation.
- Spend x2 1 hours in the forest each week
*If you don't live near nature*
- Eat more plant-based foods and buy plants for your house or apartment
How did you feel?
Do you feel a sense of calmness?
7. Work on Loving Yourself
We are continually told that you need to find someone to complete you?
Why can't we feel complete on your own?
Well, the truth is... YOU CAN.
Have you ever wondered where you formed your ideas about relationships in the first place?
What is from your parents, society, friends or peers?
The American dream - big house, marriage, 2.4 children, 4x4 car = happily ever after. Where and who did that come from?
And are they right?
Here's the truth behind the American dream...
Let me explain.
The American dream was a marketing idea formed by the central banks to encourage people to buy houses which in turn meant the central bank was able to print more money = get rich.
Pretty crazy eh?
Imagine the same widespread doctrine on self-love and how this would affect the American economy?
Would we all be rushing to buy homes, to get married?
No. We wouldn't.
Because our values would be different.
The benefits of self love are unlimited. When you love yourself you don't seek to find anyone or anything to complete you.
You are complete.
The key here is, the more you love and accept yourself, the less you will hold onto someone you love.
Learning how to let go of someone you love, starts with loving yourself first.
So how do you let go of someone you love?
Here are is a great place to start...
- Grab a mirror of any size.
- Hold it up towards your face.
- Take a moment here to sit still and smile at yourself.
- Begin talking gently to yourself
- Try to spend 5 minutes each day and work your way up to 10 minutes and cont...
This may feel a little uncomfortable, to begin with, but over time it will get easier and will notice a deeper connection with yourself.
- Breathe in. Breathe out.
- Breathe in. Breathe out.
- Breathe in and breathe out and just let go of all that stuff that is stuck inside you.
- This is a special day and we don’t want to carry any old stuff with us.
- Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. And as you breathe quietly, notice how comforting that feels. Be aware that you can do this anytime and anywhere and take care of yourself.
- You can make yourself feel better with simple gestures and your own breathe. How it calms you down. It lets yesterday go. It gives you a feeling of safety. You are here for yourself. And as you release yesterday and even this moment, you allow your full attention to come into this day, this hour, this time. Turn your full attention to this wonderful, wonderful day.
- Let your heart open and make room for all the good of the Universe to come in.
- All is well.
- I am beautiful that I am.
- I am worthy and deserving that I am.
- I love my body and I thank my body each for all it does for me.
- I love who I am and who I am becoming that I am.
- I approve of myself. I love myself deeply and fully.
Every day do this exercise;
- Write down 5 things you love about yourself
- Write down 5 things you are grateful for today
- Write down 5 things you want to improve within yourself
- Write down 5 of your biggest fears
- Write down 5 ways to overcome your fears
That's a wrap!
It's a pretty long article...
But hopefully, you’ve walked away armed with lots of tips on how to let go of someone you love that will get you the results you’re looking for to move forward in your life.
But, let’s do a quick recap to make sure you’ve taken the most important information on how to let of someone you love:
Okay, now I’m interested to know what other tips you have used to help let go?
Do you know any other techniques on how to let go of someone you love? If so let me know in the comments below!