March 4

The Secret(s) To All Romantic Relationship

Relationships & Society


And, no it's not sex.

Sorry guys! 

There's a little bit more too it than hot, sweaty romping between the sheets.

We all know that wears off after a while...

I'm talking about the relationships that empower you, that nature you and above all make you feel alive full of love and respect. 

Not toxic co-dependant relationships, but free interdependent relationships. 

While all relationships serve a purpose there are some that just seems to fit.

Like Yin and Yang.

They are fulfilling, loving, effortless and fun.

Why is that?

And, what is the magical ingredient...?

It's called alignment.

When you're in vibrational alignment with your own soul you will attract others who are in a vibrational match to there's.

What this means is when two who are each and individually in alignment with who they are will bring about the greatest harmony within a relationship dynamic.

Enough difference in interests and opinions but the ability to be in alignment so that you can extract the best from each other at all times.

This makes for the best kind of relationships.

All too often relationships come together, not because the individuals are complete within themselves but because they are seeking the missing piece of the puzzle from someone else.

When these relationships form they tend to be really possessive and needy.

They often want to box their relationship into 'something' because they feel more secure.

Unfortunately, this is where the media is to blame. They portray love to be full of all kinds of unhealthy dynamics.

Lust - Love | Jealous - Love | Possessiveness - Love | Hate - Love | Needy - Love

But love dosen't need to be defined.

Love is free.

Love doesn't begin or end, love is constant, changeable and evolves over time.

Let love be free.

And when your in alignment within your own soul this can happen.

But, I guess this wouldn't sell to many Hollywood films...

Although, Disobedience has to be an exception.

If you haven't seen it, it's worth a peek.

No matter what other quality you mention like respect, communication, space ect they all eventually fall under the umbrella of alignment.

In this article, I will show you the most important qualities you and your partner need to stay in a vibrational alignment with your own soul, which will, in turn, bring about the most fulfilling relationship you've ever known.

1. Keep Up With Your Own Expansion

In the beginning, when you come together the desire is so strong. This is because each of you are more of a vibrational match to your own soul.

But overtime this starts to change and you start to deviate.

Then you start pinning the responsibility of why you're not feeling so good on your partner.

The blame begins and the arguments start and the desire fades.

To avoid any of these troublesome waters and conflict, it's so important to continue with your own expansion.

What I mean is, staying in your vortex. In alignment with your own soul.

never stop expanding and growing even within a relationship
You never stop expanding. If you try to resist your own expansion it will cause so much inner friction.

Eachday you bring new ideas, values and beliefs into your relationship.

Allow yourself and your partner to evolve and expand with these new resources.

When this happens within any relationship you will see the best in yourself and your partner.

“I like you a lot lets see how it goes.”

Abraham Hicks

This has to be one of the best ways to begin any kind of relationship.

As you grow and expand see which direction both of you go.

This takes so much pressure of the both parties.

Always remember no matter what, each and every partnership you have will serve as great teacher.


Because they are your emotional indicator.

If your partner is jealous or needy, he or she is reflecting back to you whats active within yourself.

This is why all relationships are so beautiful.

There's no such thing as success or failure, merely lessons to learn and explore so you can grow and expand in ways you never thought possible.

Don't hold others back, allow them to be fully who there are and you will learn the power of love and light you hold within yourself.

2. Always Be a Mate to Your Own Soul

Love yourself unconditionally from this day forward.

When we truly love who we are, we stop the cycle of conditional love.

No longer are we searching for someone to make us feel complete.

The magical 'aha' moment when we realize what we have been searching for all along is within ourselves.

always start with loving yourself first
Everyone in your life is a reflection of where you are consciously.

Have a think about that for a moment.

If you don't like your partner then what are you saying about yourself?

Ego love will never last. It's only fleeting and can sometimes cause a lot of unnecessary pain.

Understandably there will come a time when two souls are no longer in alignment and both will continue on their own journey.

The important aspect of a relationship dynamic is for the two people to remain as individuals.

I'm not saying to put yourself first above anyone else, I'm saying that you need to nurture your own vibrational alignment to be able to fully love and bring about the best kind of co creating with your counterpart.

Here's an analogy by Dr Dain Heer, I really like and I hope you do too.

Jayce rock's up in his nice new car to pick his new girlfriend.

Nicole jump's in bursting with excitement and enthusiasm about the journey ahead.

But Nicole, can't seem to fit her arm into the car.

Jayce says rather insincerely "If you want to jump into the car, you are going to have to let your arm go"

Ok, she says.

Now her legs don't fit. Jayce says "You let go of your arm, you might as well as let go of your legs".

Without questions she does. By the time Nicole fits in the car, she has lost all of limbs and she's now become a shadow of her former self.

So what is this analogy really saying?

Don't subordinate who you are to fit into someone else life. EVER!

Remain true to yourself first and then you are able to give love unconditionally.

When two people have peeled back all the layers within themselves and are fully in alignment with who you are, this makes for best kind of relationships

Relationships which begin with from the heart will enormously enrich your life and will bring about a deeper connection to yourself and to source.

3. Allow Love To Be

Majority of the time within any relationship women tend to want commitment and men want freedom.

This is where so much friction occurs.

The more you fixate on the commitment your seeking from your partner the more he or she will want to run away.

Allow love to be and appreciate the feeling and presence of love between the two of you, the more love will come.

Don't try to put labels or time restraints or any other burden on love.

Love is a feeling, it's life force, its connecting you to god/the universe.

It doesn't need to be strangled. Love is free.

allow love to be free and this will bring more love into your life-min
So the next time you want more commitment from your partner, focus on the commitment he has given and you will receive more of it.

Focus on the best in your partner and you will become a vibrational match to your own soul.

You are essential seeing what's active within you.

The true test of any love is allowing each individual their greatest freedom.

If they come back time and time again, then you know you've hit the jackpot.

The paradox of love as described by Ester Perel, in the beginning, you want to bridge the space between you and your partner but in a long term relationship you want to re create the space.

Space = Desire. 

This is often why you don't see to many 'happy' long term relationships.

Don't be fooled by the Hollywood 'happy ever after' this is integral part of the American dream to support the economic system of the country (that's for another post) but you see where I'm going with this...

Love isn't about any contract, number of years together, house, kids and all that shit.

Love is Love.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Let love be free throughout your relationships and you will connect yourself to source energy and this will bring about the greatest harmony within your own soul.

If love is there, it will always be there. Trust in your connection.

Love dosen't die. 

There is infinite love to be received in this world open yourself to receive and you will invite love from everyone and everything.


Matrix love so often gets caught up with lust. Love is so much more than sex.

Yes, I get it. Sex can be a beautiful energetic exchange between two people but it's so more that that.

Love connects you to source. And source feels like home.

Home is infinite., it is The Universe.

It's of little wonder when someone makes us feel like this, we don't want to lose them.

Yet, the irony is, this person has activated what we hold within ourselves.

It's just gets so clouded by our day to day lives, that we fail to see how magnificent and deeply connected we all are.

When your able to penetrate (no pun intended) through all the layers and you connect to your own soul, unconditional love is always present.

You don't need any partner to make you feel like home. You are home.

Sharing this beautiful planet with a soul mate, twin flame or life partner is so powerful, but there nothing more important than connecting with your own soul.

Being in alignment will give you the greatest appreciation of this world and all it beholds.

Hooking up to this connection within yourself and you will attract the right soul to co-create with.

I really hope this article has given you some insight into the intricate workings of relationships and maybe it's shed some light on yours.

Either way, you always hold the light within yourself, so it's your responsibility to shine it bright.

Always choose yourself first.

Let me know in the comments below, what magical ingredients has helps in your relationships.

With love,


About the author 

Lauren Ringer

Loz runs a holistic womens surf company over at and is also a passionate life coach and full-time wood nymph. She's a Gypset on a mission to cultivate a conscious lifestyle - by design.  When away from her laptop, you can find her, in the surf, hugging trees and philosophising whist sipping her chaga tea. 

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